wow bee

Menu item translationsThe following are items found overseas in w…

11月 25th, 2008 by wowbeee

Menu item translations

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.

Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China

Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong

Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo

French fried ships - Cairo

Garlic Coffee - Europe

Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe

Boiled Frogfish - Europe

Sweat from the trolley - Europe

Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China

Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong

Roasted duck let loose - Poland

Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland

Fried friendship - Nepal

Strawberry crap - Japan

Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam

Toes with butter and jam - Bali

French Creeps - L.A.

Fried fishermen - Japan

Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan

Pepelea’s Meat Balls - Romania

Product Names

Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues

Kolic - Japanese mineral water

Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer

Swine - Chinese chocolates

Libido - Chinese soda

Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink

Shocking - Japanese chewing gum

Cat Wetty - Japanese moistened hand towels

Pipi - Yugoslavian orangeade

Polio - Czechoslovakian laundry detergent

Crundy - Japanese gourmet candy

Superglans - Netherlands car wax

I’m Dripper - Japanese instant coffee

Zit - Greek soft drink

Colon Plus - Spanish detergent

All marriages are happy–it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems.

Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control.

Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don’t love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions.

It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing.

May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead.

May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters.

May your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears.

Sign in a marriage counselor’s window: “Out to lunch - Think it over.”

The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage.

There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics and war hold him in check. And the wife who wants him home by five, of course. — Encyclopaedia Apocryphia

Q: How many Daleks does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: 1,500,000: To conquer a race than can climb ladders for them.

Q: How many people of the anti-matter Universe does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Minus 2. -1 to change the bulb, -1 to have a fight with Captain Kirk.

Q: How many Minbari does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

A: None. They never finish the job and they refuse to tell you why.

Q: How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

A: None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one. They don’t like to share the spotlight.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to stand on a chair and change it and one to say “I wish I was up there !”

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: A finite number F. One to change it and F-1 to act in a stereotypical manner according to the part they’re playing (See the formula @ the start.)

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

Passing a school bus

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

“Unlawful to Pass School Bus from Either Direction”

I guess that some people misunderstood that, because now it reads:

“Unlawful to Pass Stopped School Bus from Either Direction”.

Visit the previous joke on this topic!

Visit the next joke on this topic!

he funny true stories division

Menu item translations
The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.
Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong
Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo
French fried ships - Cairo
Garlic Coffee - Europe
Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe
Boiled Frogfish - Europe
Sweat from the trolley - Europe
Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
Roasted duck let loose - Poland
Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland
Fried friendship - Nepal
Strawberry crap - Japan
Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam
Toes with butter and jam - Bali
French Creeps - L.A.
Fried fishermen - Japan
Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
Pepelea’s Meat Balls - Romania
Product Names
Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues
Kolic - Japanese mineral water
Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer
Swine - Chinese chocolates
Libido - Chinese soda
Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink
Shocking - Japanese chewing gum
Cat Wetty - Japanese moistened hand towels
Pipi - Yugoslavian orangeade
Polio - Czechoslovakian laundry detergent
Crundy - Japanese gourmet candy
Superglans - Netherlands car wax
I’m Dripper - Japanese instant coffee
Zit - Greek soft drink
Colon Plus - Spanish detergent

All marriages are happy–it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems.
Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control.
Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don’t love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions.
It was wow gold very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing.
May you be blessed cheap wow gold with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your cheap wow gold horse drops dead.
May you world of warcraft gold learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters.
May your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears.
Sign in a marriage counselor’s window: “Out to lunch - Think it over.”
The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage.
There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics and war hold him in check. And the wife who wants him wow gold home by five, of course. — Encyclopaedia Apocryphia

Q: How many Daleks does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 1,500,000: To conquer a race than can climb ladders for them.

Q: How many people of the anti-matter Universe does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Minus 2. world of warcraft gold -1 to change the bulb, -1 to have a fight with Captain Kirk.

Q: How many Minbari does it wow gold take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: None. They never finish the job and they refuse to tell you why.

Q: How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don’t like to share the spotlight.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light buy gold for wow bulb?
A: Two. One to stand on a chair wow gold and change it and buy wow gold one to say “I wish I was up there !”

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A finite number F. One to change it and F-1 to act in a stereotypical manner according to the part they’re playing (See the formula @ the start.)

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw buy gold for wow in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

Passing a school bus
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
“Unlawful to Pass School Bus from Either Direction”
I guess that some people misunderstood that, because now it reads:
“Unlawful to Pass Stopped School Bus from Either Direction”.

Visit the previous joke on this topic!
Visit the next joke on this topic!
he funny true stories division

Posted in 未分類 | No Comments »

This isn’t a simple mine, it’s an engineering operation!…

11月 25th, 2008 by wowbeee

This isn’t a simple mine, it’s an engineering operation! Huge, constantly burning furnaces are at work melting an iron ore mixture into a molten hot alloy. This metal is then moved to the molding area of the refinery by huge iron cauldrons suspended on adamantium chains. Hordes of Goblin workers scurry about, tooling their iron and monitoring all of their outlandish machinery. This door is guarded by one of the Elder Defias - a wizard of great arcane power and cunning. Why is the cannon pointed at the door? Perhaps if you had some gunpowder… What are the Defias really up to? Why have Ogres and Goblins allied themselves with thieves? What true purpose lies within the depths of the Deadmines? Will our heroic Dwarves ever make it back to the surface? Can Dwarf females have beards? If so, what styles and accessories are available? The answers to (some of) these questions and more await you in the dungeons of Azeroth…

Chimaeras: This pet is solid for PVP. He has Froststorm Breath, which does a frost and nature damage and slows down your enemy by 50% for 5 seconds. It runs a 10 second cooldown but with the Beast Mastery talent Longevity, you can shorten this to 7 seconds. This means simply that a hunter can kite like a BEAST with this pet. Add in the factor that giant flapping wings usually make for cluttered PVP screens, and your target is going to have a hard time snagging you. It’s a Cunning pet, which means it’s pretty balanced around PVP to begin with.

Worms: This is a straight up tanking pet. The worm is a Tenacity pet, so he has improved growl, Taunt, Intervene, tons of tanking talents. He’s amazing at single-target tanking and as far as debuffs, Acid Spit is pro. If you’re running a group with melee or physical DPS (rogues, yourself and other hunters, warriors, etc.) then this pet is going to give them some serious help. All you need to do is keep misdirecting on the pet and pray your DPS isn’t crazy overpowered. The armor killing ability can also be nice for PVP when taking out plate users.

You can make from a guide with the money. you should be able to keep yourself in the best superior and epic items for a long time to come, and even be able to do the same for your friends and your alts. People that thing grinding is the only solution can rejoice over the fact that with these skills and this knowledge, they will no longer have to spend copious amounts of time killing things over and over.

Creating a character is the first role of a player. And then a lot of help will be needed from there forward. And a knowledgeable guide can help a great deal. Only the experienced players can help you with great ease and a few players do help new players.

Deciding which side to team up with is the next step after creating a character. Here there are two sides the Alliance and the Horde. This game helps the new player by letting the former to play as the “good” guys (dwarves, gnomes and humans), whereas it let the latter play as the “bad” guys (orcs, trolls and the undead)

The main idea in the World of Warcraft is to make players feel part of one big team. Members of each faction can only group and communicate with their own faction members. And each character seems unique and different in its own way since you have a lot of choice like races, classes for players to select from within a faction. The intelligence and mobility level of the races of the Alliance are usually better than that of the Horde (they rely on overall strength). There are different advantages and disadvantages with joining a particular race.

It is on the basis of class that you decide what a particular class can do throughout the game, like the role of the priest (it is quite specific in the game). All in all there are nine classes and usually help is needed to decide which class a character should belong to.

With all these and many more choices to make an A-Z guide for starters in the World of Warcraft would be of real help. And this guide can be found at this link: WoW Easy Gold. Here they also give you tips on how to build your character if you find it difficult to decide just as I did.

This isn’t a simple mine, it’s an engineering operation! Huge, constantly burning furnaces are at work melting an iron ore mixture into a molten hot alloy. This metal is then moved to the molding area of the refinery by huge iron cauldrons suspended on adamantium chains. Hordes of Goblin workers scurry about, tooling their iron and monitoring all of their outlandish machinery. This door is guarded by one of the Elder Defias - a wizard of great arcane power and cunning. Why is the cannon pointed at the door? Perhaps if you had some gunpowder… What are the Defias really up to? Why have Ogres and Goblins allied themselves with thieves? What true purpose lies within the depths of the Deadmines? Will our heroic Dwarves ever make it back to the surface? Can Dwarf females have beards? If so, what styles and accessories are available? The answers to (some of) these questions and more await you in the dungeons of Azeroth…

Chimaeras: This pet is solid for PVP. He has Froststorm Breath, which does a frost and nature damage and slows down your enemy by 50% for 5 seconds. It runs a 10 second cooldown but with the Beast Mastery talent Longevity, you can shorten this to 7 seconds. This means simply that a world of warcraft gold hunter can kite like a BEAST with this pet. Add in the factor that giant flapping wings usually make for cluttered PVP screens, and your target is going to have a hard time snagging you. It’s a Cunning pet, which means it’s pretty balanced around PVP to begin with.

Worms: This is a straight up tanking pet. The worm is a Tenacity pet, so he has wow power leveling improved growl, Taunt, Intervene, tons of tanking talents. He’s amazing at single-target tanking and as far as debuffs, Acid Spit is pro. If you’re running a group with melee or physical DPS (rogues, yourself and other hunters, warriors, etc.) then this pet is going to give them some serious help. All you need to do is keep misdirecting on the pet and pray your DPS isn’t crazy overpowered. The armor killing ability can buy wow gold also be nice for PVP when taking out plate users.

You can make from a guide with the money. you should be able to keep yourself in the wow gold best superior and epic items for a long time to come, and even be able to do the same for your friends and your alts. People that wow gold thing grinding is the only solution can rejoice over the fact that with these skills and this knowledge, they will no longer have to spend copious amounts of time killing things over and over.

Creating a character is the first role of a player. And then a buy gold wow lot of help will be needed from there forward. And a knowledgeable guide can help a great deal. Only the experienced players can help you with great ease and a few players do help new players.

Deciding which side to team up with is the next step after creating a character. Here there are two sides the Alliance and the Horde. This game helps the new player by letting the former to play as the “good” guys (dwarves, gnomes and humans), whereas it let the latter play as cheapest wow gold the “bad” guys (orcs, trolls and the undead)

The main idea in the World of Warcraft is to make players feel part wow power leveling of one big team. Members of each faction can only group and communicate with their own faction members. And each character wow gold seems unique and buy wow gold different in its own way since you have a lot of choice like races, classes for players to select from within a faction. The intelligence and mobility wow gold level of the world of warcraft gold races of the cheapest wow gold Alliance are usually better than that of the Horde (they rely on overall strength). There are different advantages and disadvantages with joining a particular race.

It is on the basis of class that you decide what a particular class can do throughout the game, like the role of the priest (it is quite specific in the game). All in all there are nine classes and usually help is needed to decide which class a character should belong to.

With all these and many more choices to make an A-Z buy gold wow guide for starters in the World of Warcraft would be of real help. And this guide can be found at this link: WoW Easy Gold. Here they also give you tips on how to build your character if you find it difficult to decide just as I did.

Posted in 未分類 | No Comments »

The author of the Warcraft Riches guide is a professional playe…

11月 24th, 2008 by wowbeee

The author of the Warcraft Riches guide is a professional player - Derek, hence why it is sometimes called Derek´s Gold Mastery Guide. Derek and has been playing World of Warcraft since the start of WoW and has learned the best ways to farm copious amounts of Warcraft gold. Unlike many other guides, warcraft riches contain many gold making methods so you can choose the method you like. If you prefer grinding – you will find the many “golden” locations, if you prefer AH, you will find many unique gold making strategies which will help you to generate thousands of gold trading in the Auction House. There are also many other gold making methods described in warcraft riches, however I found those two methods the most profitable and I recommend you to concentrate on them.

Derek claims that it is possible to make more than 200 gold per hour using the guide. While this statement does appear to be pie in the sky for some of us, the Warcraft Riches guide does an fantastic job of providing step-by-step ways to farm great amounts of WoW gold. So, if you want to start generating significant amounts of gold in the game, warcraft riches is what you need.

How can I tell which monsters are attackable?

When you mouse over a monster, if your mouse pointer changes to add a sword icon, it means you can attack the monster. Please note that if you right-click on the monster when you have a sword icon, you will automatically attack the monster if you’re close enough.

What is a critical hit?

Many attacks and spells have a small percent chance to be a critical hit that does extra damage or has a greater affect. The actual chance any given attack will be a critical hit is random, but your chance for one to occur can be raised with items that increase Agility (melee attacks), Intellect (spells), and other items/spells/skills.

Unlike conventional MMORPGs, the Rogue is not certain not a weak fighter. In fact, he can be considered the offensive counterpart of the Warrior, or the melee version of the mage. The rogue, left unchecked, has the capacity to deal the greatest damage in the shortest amount of time. .

Available to: Tauren, Troll, Orc

Best For: Orc

Primary Attribute: None

Secondary Attributes: Strength, Stamina, Intelligence, Spirit

Tirtiary Attributes: Agility

Damage Bonus From: Strength

Skills Require… Mana

Allowable Armor: Cloth, Leather

Starting Weapons Proficiently: Maces, Staffs

Macro Limit

There is a character limit for each macro you create. If your message is too long, make it shorter!

There is one rising issue nowadays for the numerous players of massively multiplayer online role-playing games or MMORPGs, particularly World of Warcraft. Now, there are legal and open transactions elsewhere over selling and buying World of Warcraft accounts. Thus, many gamers, observers and critics argue if buying WoW accounts would be banned or would be allowed to continue. Are such transactions really a boon or a bane? An analysis may not take long to get to conclusions.

Why do some players resort to buying World of Warcraft accounts? To begin with, buying WoW accounts is not illegal. As a matter of fact, it is rapidly popularizing practice nowadays. Buying WoW accounts is like buying any gaming accessory. Buying World of Warcraft accounts is like buying a measure or a tool for winning and accumulating points when playing the game. Doing so is a form of cheat, which in the case of WoW is never a negative issue. Cheats on World of Warcraft refer to legal and accepted activities, more of strategies, that are developed and designed to bring about ideal results and outcomes.

The author of the Warcraft Riches guide is a professional player - Derek, hence why it is sometimes called Derek´s Gold Mastery Guide. Derek and has been playing World of Warcraft since the start of WoW and has learned the best ways to farm copious amounts of Warcraft gold. Unlike many other guides, warcraft riches contain many gold making methods so you can choose the method you like. If you prefer grinding – you will find the many “golden” locations, if you prefer AH, you will find many unique gold making strategies which will help you to generate thousands of gold trading in the Auction House. There are also many other gold making methods described in warcraft riches, however I found those two methods the most profitable and I recommend you to concentrate on them.

Derek claims that it is possible to make more than 200 gold per hour using the guide. While this statement does appear to be pie in the sky for some of us, the Warcraft Riches guide does an fantastic job of providing step-by-step ways to cheapest wow gold farm great amounts of WoW gold. So, if you want to start generating significant amounts of gold in the game, warcraft riches is what cheap wow gold you need.

How can I tell which monsters are attackable?

When you mouse over a monster, if your mouse pointer changes to add a sword icon, it means you can attack the monster. Please note that if you right-click on the monster when you have a sword icon, you will automatically attack the monster if you’re close wow gold enough.
What is a critical hit?

Many attacks and spells have a small percent chance to be a critical hit that does extra damage or has a greater affect. The actual chance any given attack will be a critical hit is random, but your chance for wow gold one to occur can be raised with items that increase Agility (melee attacks), Intellect (spells), and other items/spells/skills. world of warcraft gold

Unlike conventional MMORPGs, the Rogue is not certain buy wow gold not a weak fighter. In fact, he can be considered the offensive counterpart of world of warcraft gold the Warrior, or the melee version of the mage. The rogue, left unchecked, has the capacity to deal the greatest damage in the shortest amount of time. .

Available to: Tauren, Troll, Orc
Best For: Orc
Primary Attribute: None
Secondary Attributes: Strength, Stamina, Intelligence, Spirit
Tirtiary Attributes: Agility
Damage Bonus From: Strength
Skills Require… Mana

Allowable Armor: Cloth, Leather
Starting Weapons Proficiently: Maces, Staffs

Macro Limit

There is a character limit for each macro you create. If your message is too long, make it shorter!

There is one rising issue nowadays for the numerous players of massively multiplayer online role-playing games or MMORPGs, particularly World of wow gold Warcraft. Now, there are legal and open transactions elsewhere over selling and buy gold wow buying World of Warcraft accounts. Thus, many gamers, observers and critics argue if buying WoW accounts would be banned or would be allowed to continue. Are such transactions really a boon or a bane? An analysis may not take long to get to conclusions.

Why do some players resort to buying World of Warcraft accounts? To begin with, buying WoW accounts is cheapest wow gold not illegal. As a matter of fact, it is rapidly popularizing practice nowadays. Buying WoW accounts is like buying any gaming accessory. Buying World of Warcraft accounts is like buying a measure or a tool for winning and accumulating points when playing the game. Doing so is a form of cheat, which in the case of wow gold WoW is buy wow gold never a negative issue. Cheats on World of buy gold wow Warcraft cheap wow gold refer to legal and accepted activities, more of strategies, that are developed and designed to bring about ideal results and outcomes.

Posted in 未分類 | No Comments »

Mages in World of Warcraft is obviously one of the best and only “area of eff…

11月 24th, 2008 by wowbeee

Mages in World of Warcraft is obviously one of the best and only “area of effect” classes besides a warlock. Both a fire mage and ice mage will work ok but a frost mage for sure will definitely shine over a fire mage in this step by step guide. A frost mage have much more survivability over the fire spec. Using this method, you should be able to average approximately 100 sunfury signets as well as possibly 5 arcane tomes. This itself should yield over 100 gold. More than likely you will also be receiving lots of rare items and recipes here as well.

To begin, your mage does not require to be greatly geared out but anything with over 400 bonus frost damage should do fine. Ideally you would want more, somewhere close to 700. Your mage should have these abilities in their talent tree in order to utilize this guide. The following are a must have; water elemental, ice barrier, ice floes, improved blizzard, and cold snap. There are also other spells that I highly suggest getting such as permafrost, ice shards, piercing ice, icy veins, shatter, improved cone of cold, arctic winds, shattered barrier, fingers of frost, improved water elemental and deep freeze.

Once you have the requirements set, make your way to Netherstorm in Outland. It is one of the highest level zones in World of Warcraft as of the Burning Crusade expansion. This farming method is not only ideal to farming for gold but also for leveling your characters. With skill and practice, you can start farming with your mage at about level 67 to 68. Ideally 68 because of the “to hit code” that you will face at lower levels. This is a great way to level yourself, gather gold and build your faction with the Scryers. Once you arrive at the neutral town of Area 52, make your way a bit south and west until you reach Mana Forge B’naar.

The key point about World of Warcraft is that it is not simply a game; it is an alternative world. It is a recreation of life, and it has built its reality in as much depth and detail as possible. World of Warcraft functions as an alternative to the real world and is one of the most involving games yet designed. Players use it to get away from reality and stress and to do something very different for a while. It is a hugely entertaining title of course, with much to offer to gamers.

The world of the game still exists and grows even when you are not playing it. One of the game’s features actively encourages players to take a break every now and again. World of Warcraft features an element called the rested state, a reward system for more casual players. When players have their characters stay in an inn or a city, in other words when they aren’t playing the game, they earn certain bonuses and advantages. This can help with their progress when they do return to it.

World of Warcraft also includes internal controls that can limit how long a person plays it. The game features special parental controls that allow adults to determine how much their children may use it. They can set up a play schedule and restrict their children’s access solely to evenings or the weekend. It is also possible to set it to force a player to take a break every hour or so. This ensures that people use the game sensibly and within reason.

Overall, World of Warcraft is a terrific game and it is easy to become engrossed in it. The fact that it is so engaging just illustrates what a superlative game it is. It is very absorbing and diverting and is fine entertainment all round.

Auction Houses is one of trading ways in World of Warcraft world. It is very important trading ways which can help player gain some infrequent items. In fact, sometimes you are able to require these items in trading with another player, but it is a litter trouble that you have to haggle or bargain with them. If you want to keep things simple and don’t want to have to haggle or bargain with other players, try the Auction House. It’s simple to use! Just search for the item you want and place a bid.

Newer players, however, face a steep curve in trying to acquire World of Warcraft gold. Low-level monsters, like those that you will face for the first 20 or so levels, may occasionally drop a piece of silver. More often than not, however, they will drop copper or no WOW money at all. Similarly, you need to invest days of play in order to build up your trade skills to the point that you can use them to make fast gold.

Buyer beware. Buying gold in World of Warcraft can cause you problems, in game and in real life. If you are considering buying gold in World of Warcraft, it is because the great gear and mounts cost alot of gold and it is difficult to make it if you don’t know how.

But the fact of the matter is that it is easy to make gold in World of Warcraft with the right strategy, and you do not have to subject yourself to the scams and dangers of buying gold. I hope that this article makes you think about you and your characters well being.

The fact of the matter is, there are many companies out there catering to players looking at buying gold in World of Warcraft. Many of these companies are very shady.

It is against Blizzard’s terms of service (TOS) to sell game property, including gold, and these companies have built an entire business doing just that. If these companies are willing to treat Blizzard unfairly, what makes you think that they would treat you fairly?

Well, a lot of them would not. When buying gold in World of Warcraft, players do not realize that most of this gold comes from hacks and exploits that steal from other players. This could be anyone in the game, including you. Also, players that do business with these companies are also targeted for future hacks.

Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Players have also reported having their identities or credit card numbers stolen when buying gold in World of Warcraft. This can take years to repair on your credit report. Ask yourself, is a flying epic mount worth years of repairing my finances in real life? I don’t think it is.

Mages in World of Warcraft is obviously one of the best and only “area of effect” classes besides a warlock. Both a fire mage and ice mage will work ok but a frost mage for sure will definitely shine over a fire mage in this step by step guide. A frost mage have much more survivability over the fire spec. Using this method, you should be able to average approximately 100 sunfury signets as well as possibly 5 arcane tomes. This itself should yield over 100 gold. More than likely you will also be receiving lots of rare items and recipes here as well.

To begin, your mage does not require to be greatly geared out but anything with over 400 bonus frost damage should do fine. Ideally you would want more, somewhere close to 700. Your mage should have these abilities in their talent tree in order to utilize this guide. The following are a must have; water elemental, ice barrier, ice floes, improved blizzard, and cold snap. There are also other spells that I highly suggest getting such as permafrost, ice shards, piercing ice, icy veins, shatter, improved cone of cold, arctic winds, shattered barrier, fingers of frost, improved water elemental and deep freeze.

Once you have the requirements set, make your way to Netherstorm in Outland. It is one of the highest level zones in World of Warcraft as of the Burning Crusade expansion. This farming method is not only ideal to farming for gold but also for leveling your characters. With skill and practice, you can start farming with your mage at about level 67 to 68. Ideally 68 because of the “to hit code” that you will face at lower levels. This is a great way to level yourself, gather gold and build your faction with the Scryers. Once you arrive at the neutral town of Area 52, make your way a bit south and west until you reach Mana Forge B’naar.

The key point about World of Warcraft is that it is not simply a game; it is an alternative world. It is a recreation of life, and it has built its reality in as much depth and detail as possible. World of Warcraft functions as an alternative to the real world and is one of the most involving games wow power leveling yet designed. Players use it to get away from reality and stress and to do something very different for a while. It is a hugely entertaining title of course, with much to offer to gamers.

The world of the game still exists and grows even when you are not playing it. One of the game’s features actively encourages players to take a break every now and again. World of Warcraft features an element called the rested state, a reward system for more casual players. When players have their characters stay in an inn wow gold or buy cheap wow gold a city, in other words when they aren’t playing the game, they earn certain bonuses and advantages. This can help with their progress when they do return to it.

World of Warcraft also includes internal controls that can limit how long a person plays it. The game features special parental controls that allow adults to determine how much their children may use it. They can set up a play schedule and world of warcraft gold restrict their children’s access solely world of warcraft gold to evenings or the weekend. It is also possible to set it to force a player to take a break every hour or so. This ensures that people use the game cheapest wow gold sensibly and within reason.

Overall, World of Warcraft is a terrific game and it is easy to become engrossed in it. The fact that it is so engaging just illustrates what a superlative game it is. It is cheapest wow gold very absorbing and diverting and is fine entertainment all round.

Auction Houses is one of trading ways in World of Warcraft world. It is very important trading ways which can help player gain some infrequent items. In fact, sometimes wow power leveling you are able to require these items in trading with another player, but it is a litter trouble that you have to haggle or bargain with them. If you want to keep things simple and don’t want to have to haggle or bargain with other players, try the Auction House. It’s simple to use! Just search for the item you want and place a bid.

Newer players, however, face a steep curve in trying to acquire World of Warcraft gold. Low-level monsters, like those that you will face for the first 20 or so levels, may occasionally drop a piece of silver. More often than not, however, they will drop copper or no WOW money at all. Similarly, you need to invest days of play in order to build up your trade skills to the point that you wow power leveling can use them to make fast gold. cheap wow gold

Buyer beware. Buying gold in World of Warcraft can buy wow gold cause you problems, in game and in real life. If you are considering buying gold in World of Warcraft, it is because the great gear and mounts cost alot of gold and buy wow gold it is difficult to make it if you don’t know how.

But the fact of the matter is that it is easy to make gold in World of Warcraft with the right strategy, and buy cheap wow gold you do not have to subject wow gold yourself to the scams and dangers of buying gold. I hope that this article makes you think about you and your characters well being.

The fact of the matter is, there are many companies out there catering to players looking at buying gold in cheapest wow gold world of warcraft gold World of Warcraft. Many of these companies are very shady.

It is against Blizzard’s terms of service (TOS) to sell game property, including gold, and these companies have built an entire business doing just that. If cheap wow gold these buy wow gold companies are willing to treat Blizzard unfairly, what makes you think that they would treat you fairly?

Well, buy cheap wow gold a lot of them would not. When buying gold in World of Warcraft, players do not realize that most of this gold comes from hacks and exploits that steal from other players. This could be anyone in the game, including you. Also, players that do business with these companies are also targeted for future hacks.

Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Players have also reported having their identities cheap wow gold or credit card numbers stolen when buying gold in World of Warcraft. This can take years to repair on your credit report. Ask yourself, is a flying epic mount worth years of repairing my finances in real life? I don’t think it is.

Posted in 未分類 | No Comments »

The Warlock is a devious caster, who survives on cunning rather…

11月 24th, 2008 by wowbeee

The Warlock is a devious caster, who survives on cunning rather than pure arcane power. In terms of brute damage, the Warlock’s arsenal of spells is limited, even feeble when compared to that of the mage. Yet, with a demonic companion, and devious curses, a Warlock can be just as formidable.

Available to: Human, Dwarf, Night Elf, Orc, Tauren, Undead, Troll.

Best For: Dwarf, Orc, Tauren

Primary Attribute: Strength

Skills Require: Rage

Warriors are the melee-centered class. These characters are tough as nails and masters of weaponry and tactics. The special abilities of the warrior are naturally combat-oriented.

Feed Pet

/cast Feed Pet

This works just like the ability feed pet, but i you add Item Location:

/cast Feed Pet

/script PickupContainerItem (0,1)

This will automatically feed your pet the item in Backpack, slot 1. It’s

very useful, as I don’t have to search for the right food, then click my pet.

What is World of Warcraft though (besides being a game)? That question is actually slightly difficult to explain if you haven’t played any type of Role Playing Games before. Also to do that question full justice it would take more time and pages than I can spare, in other words if I were to go into all the details about what WoW really is, I would need a separate article entirely.

However, not to worry, I know exactly what it is like to be stranded in the World of Warcraft with no clue as to what is happening around me. It took the combined efforts of my little brother and days of researching – when I could tear myself away from the game inspite of the fact that I was still virtually clueless – to get my head around the whole thing that was known as the universe of Warcraft and along with it the World of Warcraft.

(I should perhaps mention that there is no game called the universe of Warcraft – not yet anyway. What I was trying to do there was to encapsulate everything that is World of Warcraft into one single line.) Anyway, as I was saying, it took me a few days to come to grips with WoW, but it took me endless hours of game playing time to understand most of the ins and outs of it.

I wouldn’t call myself an expert at World of Warcraft, I gave up the game so I’m not entitled to that name, but I do know a fair bit about it, and can still make my way through the various lands in one piece.

World of Warcraft, also called WOW by gamers, is an online massively multiplayer role- playing game (MMORPG).

Around twelve years back, Blizzard Entertainment developed a game called Warcraft, a single/multiplayer adventure game, which went on to become so immensely popular that they added two more Warcraft games, and World of Warcraft is the fourth game in the series. As on May 2006, World of Warcraft had over 6.5 million active users who were paying around $ 17 a month each to play it. That works to over 110 million dollars a month in subscriptions!

It is against Blizzard’s terms of service (TOS) to sell game property, including gold, and these companies have built an entire business doing just that. If these companies are willing to treat Blizzard unfairly, what makes you think that they would treat you fairly?

Well, a lot of them would not. When buying gold in World of Warcraft, players do not realize that most of this gold comes from hacks and exploits that steal from other players. This could be anyone in the game, including you. Also, players that do business with these companies are also targeted for future hacks.

Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Players have also reported having their identities or credit card numbers stolen when buying gold in World of Warcraft. This can take years to repair on your credit report. Ask yourself, is a flying epic mount worth years of repairing my finances in real life? I don’t think it is.

The Warlock is a devious caster, who survives on cunning rather than pure arcane power. In terms of brute damage, the Warlock’s arsenal of spells is limited, even feeble when compared to that of the mage. Yet, with a demonic companion, and devious curses, a Warlock can be just as formidable.

Available to: Human, Dwarf, Night Elf, Orc, Tauren, Undead, Troll.
Best For: Dwarf, Orc, Tauren
Primary Attribute: Strength
Skills Require: Rage

Warriors are the melee-centered class. These characters are tough as nails and masters of weaponry and tactics. The special abilities of the warrior are naturally combat-oriented.

Feed Pet
/cast Feed Pet

This works just like the ability feed pet, but i you add Item Location:

/cast Feed Pet
/script PickupContainerItem (0,1)

This will automatically feed your pet the item in Backpack, slot 1. It’s
very useful, as I don’t have to search for the right food, then wow power leveling click my pet.

What is World of Warcraft though (besides being a game)? That question is actually slightly difficult to explain if you haven’t played any type of Role Playing Games before. Also to do that question full justice it would take more time and pages than I can spare, in other words if I were to go into all the details about what WoW really is, I would need a separate article entirely.

However, not to worry, I know exactly what it is like to be stranded in the World of Warcraft with no clue as to buy gold wow what is happening around me. It wow gold took the combined efforts of my little brother and days of researching wow gold – when I could tear myself away from the game inspite of the fact that I was still virtually clueless – to get my head around the whole thing that was known as the universe of Warcraft and along with it the World of Warcraft.

(I should perhaps mention that there wow gold is no game called the universe of Warcraft – world of warcraft gold not yet anyway. What I was trying to do there was to encapsulate everything that is World of Warcraft into one single line.) Anyway, as I was saying, it took me a few days to come to grips with WoW, but it wow gold took me endless hours of game playing time to understand most of the buy wow gold ins and outs of it.
buy gold for wow
I wouldn’t call myself an expert at World of Warcraft, I gave up the game so I’m not entitled to that name, but I do know a fair bit about it, and can wow power leveling still make my way through the various lands in one piece.

World of Warcraft, also called WOW by gamers, is an online massively multiplayer role- playing game (MMORPG).

Around twelve years back, buy gold wow Blizzard Entertainment developed a game called Warcraft, a single/multiplayer adventure game, which went on to become world of warcraft gold so immensely popular that they added two more Warcraft games, and World of Warcraft is the fourth game in the series. As on May 2006, World of Warcraft had over 6.5 million active users who were paying around $ 17 a month each to play it. That works to over 110 million dollars a month in subscriptions!

It is against Blizzard’s terms of service (TOS) to sell game property, including gold, and these companies have built an entire business doing just that. If these companies are willing to treat Blizzard unfairly, what makes you think that they would treat you fairly?
buy wow gold
Well, a lot of them would not. When buying gold in World of Warcraft, players do not realize that most of this gold comes from hacks and exploits that steal from other players. This could be anyone in the game, including you. Also, players that do business with these companies are also targeted for future hacks.

Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Players have also reported having their identities or credit card numbers stolen when buying gold in World of Warcraft. This can take years to repair on your credit report. Ask yourself, is a flying epic mount worth years of repairing my finances in real life? I buy gold for wow don’t think it is.

Posted in 未分類 | No Comments »

A noted biologist, who had been studying little gr…

11月 23rd, 2008 by wowbeee

A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn’t stay coupled long enough to reproduce successfully. The chemist then brewed up a new adhesive to assist the frogs’ togetherness, which included one part sodium. It seems the little green frogs needed some monosodium glue to mate.

Thank you for calling 217-2962. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn’t do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.

All booster, no payload.

All crown, no filling.

All foam, no beer.

All hammer, no nail.

All hat and no cattle.

All he remembers about his middle name is the first letter.

All his eggs in the same basket.

All his learning curves look like Mount Everest.

All icing, no cake.

All lime and salt, no tequila.

All missile, no warhead.

All of his bytes are odd.

All shot, no powder.

All the lights don’t shine in her marquee.

All the personality of linoleum flooring / plasticene / putty / caulking / saran wrap / a bowl of oatmeal / a plastic spoon.

Bachelor’s Diet

MONDAY:

BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth

LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.

AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox

DINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don’t eat the coleslaw.

TUESDAY:

BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw

LUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho’s.

WEDNESDAY:

BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn’t eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho’s

LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke

DINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps

THURSDAY:

BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza

LUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.

DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.

FRIDAY:

BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it’s better for you.

LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder

DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don’t eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

SATURDAY:

BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.

LUNCH - Ditto

DINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.

SUNDAY:

BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.

LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.

DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.

New family driver

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.

“I’ll bet you’re back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive,” says the beaming boy to his father.

“Nope,” comes dad’s reply, “I’m gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you’ve been doing to me all these years.”

Visit the previous joke on this topic!

Visit the next joke on this topic!

Return to parent jokes and humor

If you liked this, you may like…

Aha! Jokes > Travel Jokes

A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn’t stay coupled long enough to reproduce successfully. The chemist then brewed up a new adhesive to assist the frogs’ togetherness, which included one part sodium. It seems the little green frogs needed some monosodium glue to mate.

Thank you for calling 217-2962. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn’t do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.

All booster, no payload.
All crown, no filling.
All foam, no beer.
All hammer, no nail.
All hat and no cattle.
All he remembers about his middle name is the first letter.
All his eggs in the same basket.
All his learning wow gold curves look like Mount Everest.
All icing, no cake.
All lime and salt, no tequila.
All missile, no warhead.
All of his bytes are odd.
All shot, no powder.
All the lights don’t shine in her marquee.
All the personality of linoleum flooring / plasticene / putty / caulking / saran wrap / wow gold a bowl of oatmeal / a plastic spoon.

Bachelor’s Diet
MONDAY:
BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth
LUNCH - Send your secretary out wow power leveling for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.
AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox
DINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don’t eat the coleslaw.

TUESDAY:
BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw
LUNCH world of warcraft gold - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho’s.

WEDNESDAY: buy wow gold
BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn’t eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho’s
LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke
DINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps

THURSDAY:
BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza
LUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.
DINNER - Go to a buy cheap wow gold bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.

FRIDAY:
BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it’s better for you.
LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder
DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don’t eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

SATURDAY:
BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.
LUNCH - Ditto
DINNER - wow power leveling Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them wow gold in a hanging basket.

SUNDAY:
BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.
LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a world of warcraft gold good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.
DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.

New family driver
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he buy wow gold is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. wow gold
“I’ll bet you’re back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive,” says the beaming boy to his father.
“Nope,” comes dad’s reply, “I’m gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you’ve been doing to me all these years.”

Visit the previous joke on this topic!
Visit the next joke on this topic!
Return to parent jokes and humor

If you liked this, you may like…

Aha! Jokes > Travel Jokes

Posted in 未分類 | No Comments »

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

11月 23rd, 2008 by wowbeee

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Do blind eskimoes heave seeing-eye sled dogs?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do radioactve cats have 18 half-lives?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

Why call it “take” a dump, when you leave something behind?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

AAC Alter All Commands

AAD Alter All Data

AAO Add And Overflow

AAR Alter At Random

AB Add Backwards

ABC AlphaBetize Code

ABR Add Beyond Range

ACC Advance CPU Clock

ACDC Allow Controller to Delete Contents

ACDP Allow Controller to Die Peacefully

ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time

ADB Another Dumb Bug

AEE Absolve Engineering Errors

AFF Add Fudge Factor

AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary

AFP Abnormalize Floating Point

AFR Abort Funny Routine

AFVC Add Finagle’s Variable Constant

AGB Add GarBage

AGWA Add and Get Wrong Answer

AI Add Improper

AIB Attack Innocent Bystander

AIB Attack Innocent Bystanders

AISG Access and Improve Student Grade

AMM Add Mayo and Mustard

AMM Answer My Mail

AMS Add Memory to System

ANC ANnoy Consultant

AOI Annoy Operator Immediate

AR Advance Rudely

AR Alter Reality

ARN Add and Reset to Non-zero

ARN Add and Reset to Nonzero

ARZ Add and Reset to Zero

AS Add Sideways

ASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSI

AT Accumulate Trivia

AWP Argue With Programmer

AWTT Assemble With Tinker Toys

BA Branch Anywhere

BAC Branch to Alpha Centauri

BAD Branch And Die

BAD Branch to Auto Destruct

BAF Blow All Fuses

BAH Branch And Hang

BALC Branch And Link Cheeseburger

BAP Branch And Punt

BAW Bells And Whistles

BB Branch on Bug

BBBB Byte Baudy Bit and Branch

BBBF Branch on Bit Bucket Full

BBD Branch on Bastille Day

BBI Branch on Burned-out Indicator

BBIL Branch on Burned-out Indicator Light

BBLB Branch on Blinking Light Bulb

BBT Branch on Binary Tree

BBW Branch Both Ways

BCB Burp and Clear Bytes

BCF Branch on Chip box Full

BCIL Branch Creating Infinite Loop

BCR Backspace Card Reader

BCS Branch and Crash System

BCU Be Cruel and Unusual

BD Backspace Disk

BD Branch to Data

BDC Break Down and Cry

BDI Branch to Data Indirect

BDM Branch and Disconnect Memory

BDT Burn Data Tree

BDU Branch on Dense User

BE Branch Everywhere

BEW Branch Either Way

BF Belch Fire

BF Blow Fuse

BF Branch Forever

BFD Branch on Full Disk

BFF Branch and Form Feed

BFM Be Fruitful and Multiply

BH Branch and Hang

BIR Branch Inside Ranch

Hi, I’m not sane right now, but if you leave your name, number and shoe size at the sound of the tone, I’ll get back to you when and if I return to my senses.

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?

I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the driver’s side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side.

After you lose an election, will they let you back into all the exclusive clubs you resigned from?

This is the only place in the country where people pull over and stop for a funeral, but speed up to cut off an ambulence or a firetruck.

I went out today and bought everything I’ve been wanting, because now that the elections are over, I know that the politicians are going to take care of the middle class.

The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.

I really feel sorry for Madonna’s baby, having to grow without a last name.

Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?

The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.

A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

“Sorry I can’t serve you,” states the barman.

“Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.

“You’re under 18,” replies the barman.

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind eskimoes heave seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do radioactve cats have 18 half-lives?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
Why call it “take” a dump, when you leave something behind?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?

AAC Alter All Commands
AAD Alter All Data
AAO Add And Overflow
AAR Alter At Random
AB Add Backwards
ABC AlphaBetize Code
ABR Add Beyond Range
ACC Advance CPU Clock
ACDC Allow Controller to Delete Contents
ACDP Allow Controller to Die Peacefully
ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time
ADB Another Dumb Bug
AEE Absolve Engineering Errors
AFF Add Fudge Factor
AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary
AFP Abnormalize Floating Point
AFR world of warcraft gold Abort Funny Routine
AFVC Add Finagle’s Variable Constant
AGB Add GarBage
AGWA Add and Get Wrong Answer
AI Add Improper
AIB Attack Innocent Bystander
AIB Attack Innocent Bystanders
AISG Access and Improve Student Grade
AMM Add Mayo and Mustard
AMM Answer My Mail
AMS Add Memory to System
ANC ANnoy Consultant
AOI Annoy Operator Immediate
AR Advance Rudely
AR Alter Reality
ARN Add and Reset to Non-zero
ARN Add and Reset to wow gold Nonzero
ARZ Add and Reset to Zero
AS Add Sideways
ASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSI
AT Accumulate Trivia
AWP Argue With Programmer
AWTT Assemble With Tinker Toys
BA Branch Anywhere
BAC Branch to Alpha Centauri
BAD Branch And Die
BAD Branch to Auto world of warcraft gold Destruct
BAF Blow All Fuses
BAH Branch And Hang
BALC Branch And Link Cheeseburger
BAP Branch And Punt
BAW Bells And Whistles
BB Branch on Bug
BBBB Byte Baudy Bit and Branch
BBBF Branch on Bit Bucket Full
BBD Branch cheap wow gold on Bastille Day
BBI Branch on Burned-out Indicator
BBIL Branch on Burned-out Indicator Light
BBLB Branch on Blinking Light Bulb
BBT Branch on Binary Tree
BBW Branch Both Ways
BCB Burp and Clear Bytes
BCF Branch on Chip box Full
BCIL Branch Creating Infinite Loop
BCR Backspace Card Reader
BCS Branch and Crash System
BCU Be Cruel and Unusual
BD Backspace Disk
BD Branch to Data
BDC Break Down and Cry
BDI Branch to Data Indirect
BDM Branch and Disconnect Memory
BDT Burn Data Tree
BDU Branch on Dense User
BE Branch Everywhere
BEW Branch Either Way
BF Belch Fire
BF Blow Fuse
BF Branch Forever
BFD Branch on Full Disk
BFF Branch and Form Feed
BFM Be Fruitful and Multiply
BH Branch and Hang
BIR Branch Inside Ranch

Hi, I’m not wow gold sane right now, but if you leave your name, number and shoe size at the sound of the tone, I’ll get back to you when and if I return to my senses.

Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?
I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the driver’s side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side.
After you lose an election, will they let you back into all the exclusive clubs you resigned from?
This is the only place in the country where people pull over and stop for a funeral, but speed up to cut off an ambulence or a firetruck.
I went out today and bought everything I’ve been wanting, because now that the elections are over, I know that the politicians are going to take care of the middle class.
The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.
I really feel sorry buy wow gold for Madonna’s baby, having to grow without a last name.
Is it a wow gold law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?
The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.

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A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
“Sorry I can’t serve you,” states wow power leveling the barman.
“Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
“You’re under 18,” replies the barman.

Posted in 未分類 | No Comments »

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already…

11月 23rd, 2008 by wowbeee

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.

Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.

The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.

The old-timer says, “Look at me. I’m old and worn out.

You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.

I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France.”

The new man asked, “What happened?”

“One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night.

The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied “Jesus died with a thief on either side. I just thought I’d check out the same way.”

If ignorance is bliss, most of us must be orgasmic.

If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it.

If it doesn’t make sense, it’s either economics or psychology.

If it doesn’t work, expand it.

If it happens, it must be possible.

If it is good, they will stop making it.

If it is incomprehensible, it’s mathematics.

If it is worth doing, it is worth doing for money.

If it is worth doing, it is worth over-doing.

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

(Darth Vader voice:) Speak, worm!

This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, “My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam.”

She turns around quickly to see who has spoken, but there is no one. All she sees is a big green parrot, resting on his perch in his cage. “Did you say that?” she asks.

“Why, yes, I did!” he replies. “And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you.”

The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, but one that paid such nice compliments. So she pays for him and takes him home. On the way, she says, “You know, I am so proud of you that I believe I’ll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?”

The parrot says, “Why yes, that would be delightful. I know a charming place on 7th Street.”

So they arrive home and the lady progresses upstairs to her room to change for dinner, bringing the parrot along, of course. When the woman enters the building, the parrot begins complaining, swearing, and even bit her once.

Well, the woman is flabbergasted! She grabs the parrot by the throat, marches down the stairs into the basement, and stuffs the parrot in the freezer. She leaves him there in the freezer for five long minutes before taking him back out. The parrot is very cold.

She says, “Well? Have you learned your lesson? I will not tolerate such language in my house!”

The parrot says, “Okay, okay, I promise it won’t happen again. I am deeply sorry.”

Within five minutes, he is cursing again and bit her once on the arm and once on the finger.

The lady is absolutely stunned. She rips the parrot out of his cage, goes down the stairs, into the cellar, and, slam, into the freezer. This time, she leaves him in there for fifteen minutes.

When she finally takes him out, the parrot is one step away from death. He is shivering and has light frost on the beak. “I swear it will never ever happen again! I will never

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.
Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.
The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, “Look at me. I’m old and worn out.
You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.
I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France.”
The new man asked, “What happened?”
“One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night.
The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied “Jesus died with a thief on either side. I just thought I’d check out the same way.”

If ignorance is bliss, most of us must be orgasmic.
If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it.
If wow power leveling it doesn’t make sense, it’s either economics or psychology.
If it doesn’t work, expand it.
If it happens, it must be possible.
If it is good, they will stop making it.
If it is incomprehensible, it’s mathematics.
If world of warcraft gold it is worth doing, it is worth doing for money.
If it is worth doing, it is worth over-doing.
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

(Darth Vader voice:) Speak, worm!

This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease cheap wow gold her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, “My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam.”
She turns around cheapest wow gold quickly to see who has spoken, but there is no world of warcraft gold one. All she sees is a big green parrot, resting on his perch in his cage. “Did you say that?” she asks.
“Why, yes, I did!” he replies. “And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you.”
The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, cheap wow gold but one that paid such nice compliments. So she pays for him and takes him home. On the way, she says, “You buy wow gold know, I am so proud of you that I believe I’ll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?”
The parrot says, “Why yes, that would be delightful. I know a charming place on 7th Street.”
So they arrive home and the lady progresses upstairs to her room to change for dinner, bringing the parrot along, of course. wow gold When the woman enters the building, the parrot begins complaining, swearing, and wow power leveling even bit her once.
Well, the woman is flabbergasted! She grabs the parrot by the throat, marches down the stairs into the wow gold basement, and stuffs the parrot in the freezer. She leaves him there in the freezer for five long minutes before taking him back out. The parrot is very cold.
She says, “Well? Have you learned cheapest wow gold your lesson? I will not tolerate such language in my house!”
The parrot says, “Okay, okay, I promise it won’t happen again. I am deeply sorry.”
Within five minutes, he is cursing again and bit her once on the arm and once on the finger.
The lady is absolutely stunned. She rips the parrot out of his cage, goes down the stairs, into the cellar, and, slam, into the freezer. This time, she leaves him in there for fifteen minutes.
When she finally takes him out, the parrot is one step away from death. He is shivering and has light frost on the beak. “I swear buy wow gold it will never ever happen again! I will never

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Pathetic lawsuitsThe following is supposedly a tru…

11月 23rd, 2008 by wowbeee

Pathetic lawsuits

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

January 16, 1993

In 1989, a Union Bridge, Md., high school permitted a female student, Tawana Hammond, 17, to try out for its football team under the pressure of a federal statute that bars school discrimination on the basis of gender.

On her first scrimmage, Tawana, a running back, was tackled and suffered massive internal injuries.

In October 1992, she filed a $1.5 million lawsuit against the county board of education for its alleged failure to tell her how dangerous football is.

Visit the previous joke on this topic!

Visit the next joke on this topic!

he funny true stories division

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.

The doctor said, “Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman’s brain as well. It costs $50,000.”

The client asked, “What? How’s that possible?”

The doctor replied, “You see, it’s totally unused.”

Sorry, Chris and Susan aren’t here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone.

Facts about Americans. Did you know that . . .

Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.

21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.

Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.

40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.

67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs).

3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to

higher denominations.

13% of us admit to occassionally doing our offspring’s homework.

91% of us lie regularly.

27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.

29% admit they’ve intentionally stolen something from a store.

50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high

prices of snack foods.

90% believe in divine retribution.

10% believe in the 10 Commandments.

82% believe in an afterlife.

45% believe in ghosts.

13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.

58.4% have called into work sick when we weren’t.

10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.

Over 50% believe in spanking - but only a child over 2 years old.

35% give to charity at least once a month.

How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their friends,

family, and church. 7% would murder.

69% eat the cake before the frosting.

When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.

85% of us will eat Spam this year.

70% of us drink orange juice daily.

Snickers is the most popular candy.

22% of us skip lunch daily.

9% of us skip breakfast daily.

66% of us eat cereal regularly.

22% of all restaurant meals include french fries.

14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.

Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.

45% use mouthwash every day.

22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.

The typical shower is 101 degrees F.

Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.

9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.

53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.

58% of women paint their nails regularly.

33% of women lie about their weight.

10% of us claim to have seen a ghost.

57% have had deja vu.

Real advertisements 05

Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore–unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Pathetic lawsuits
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
January 16, 1993
In 1989, a Union Bridge, Md., high school permitted a female student, Tawana Hammond, 17, to try out for its football team under the pressure of a federal statute that bars school discrimination on the basis of gender.
On her first scrimmage, Tawana, a running back, was tackled and suffered massive internal injuries.
In October 1992, she filed a $1.5 million lawsuit against the county board of education for its alleged failure to tell her how dangerous football is.

Visit the previous joke on this topic!
Visit the next joke on this topic!
he funny true stories division

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.
The doctor said, “Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman’s brain as well. It costs $50,000.”
The client asked, “What? How’s that possible?”
The doctor replied, “You see, it’s totally unused.”

Sorry, Chris and Susan aren’t here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone.

Facts about Americans. Did you know that . . .
Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.
21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs).
3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to
higher denominations.
13% of us admit to occassionally doing our offspring’s homework.
91% of us lie regularly.
27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.
29% admit they’ve intentionally stolen something from a store.
50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high
prices of snack foods.
90% believe in divine retribution.
10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
82% believe in an afterlife.
45% believe in ghosts.
13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.
58.4% have called into work sick when we weren’t.
10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.
Over 50% believe in spanking - but only a child over 2 years old.
35% give to charity wow gold at least once a month.
How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their friends,
family, and church. 7% would murder.
69% eat the cake before the frosting.
When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.
85% of us will eat Spam this year.
70% of us drink orange juice daily.
Snickers is the most popular candy.
22% of us skip lunch daily.
9% of us skip breakfast daily.
66% of us eat cereal regularly.
22% of all restaurant meals include french fries.
14% of us eat wow gold the watermelon seeds.
Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
45% use mouthwash every day.
22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.
The typical shower is 101 degrees F. cheap wow gold
Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.
9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.
53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
58% of women paint their nails regularly.
33% of women lie about their weight.
10% of us claim to have seen a ghost.
57% have had deja vu.

Real advertisements 05
Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.
Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable wow power leveling of contributing buy gold for wow to growth of family.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
And now, the Superstore–unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

wow gold cheap wow gold wow gold wow power leveling buy gold for wow

Posted in 未分類 | No Comments »

I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building….

11月 23rd, 2008 by wowbeee

I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building… I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turned to the other and said, “See, that’s how it’s done.”

I was going to commit suicide the other day, but I must not have been serious because I brought a beach towel.

I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me… I pushed “1″ and he just stood there… I said, “Hi, where you going?” He said, “Phoenix.” So I pushed Phoenix. A few seconds later the doors opened, two tumbleweeds blew in… We were in downtown Phoenix. I looked at him and said, “You know, you’re the kind of guy I want to hang around with.” We got into his car and drove out to his shack in the desert. Then the phone rang. He said, “You get it.” I picked it up and said, “Hello?”… The other side said, “Is this Steven Wright?”… I said, “Yes…” The guy said, “Hi, I’m Mr. Jones, the student loan director from your bank. It seems you have missed your last 17 payments, and the university you attended said that they received none of the $17,000 we loaned you. We would just like to know what happened to the money?” I said, “Mr. Jones, I’ll give it to you straight. I gave all of the money to my friend Slick, and with it he built a nuclear weapon… And I would appreciate it if you never called me again.”

One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl… I sat beside her. I said, “Hi,” and she said, “Hi,” and then I said, “Nice day, isn’t it?,” And she said, “I saw my analyst today and he says I have a problem.” So I asked, “What’s the problem?” She replied, “I can’t tell you. I don’t even know you…” I said, “Well sometimes it’s good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger on a bus.” So she said, “Well, my analyst said I’m a nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys… By the way, my name is Denise.” I said, “Hello, Denise. My name is Bucky Goldstei

A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”

“Ten years!”, he says.

She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, “Man, oh man! Is that good!”

Then she asked, “How long has it been since you’ve had a drink of whiskey?”

He replies, “Ten years!”

She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.

He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!”

Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, “And how long has it been since you’ve had some real fun?”

And the man replies, “Wow! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there!”

he golf jokes page

A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and is a lot of fun. He explains “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $5.”

Again, the engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep.

The programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, “OK, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $100!”

This catches the engineer’s attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game.

The programmer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The engineer doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the programmer.

Now, it’s the engineer’s turn. He asks the programmer “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?”

The programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers–all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $100. The engineer politely takes the $100 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the engineer and asks “Well, so what’s the answer?” Without a word, the engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

Signs and notices 14

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

Sign in a Rome laundry: “Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Sign in the window of a Swedish furrier: “Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.”

Sign on the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: “Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.”

Detour sign in Kobe, Japan: “Stop: Drive Sideways.”

Sign in a Swiss mountain inn: “Special today — no ice cream.”

Sign in a Copenhagen airline ticket office: “We take your bags and send them in all directions.”

Sign on the door of a Moscow hotel room: “If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.”

Sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge: “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.”

An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney抯 office as his lawyer handed him his will. “Your estate is very complex,” said the lawyer, “but I抳e made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500.”

Just then, the phone rang and the lawyer got involved with a long call. Thinking the lawyer had said “$500,” the old man wrote out his check and left.

When she got off the phone and realized the old man抯 mistake, the lawyer ran after him down the stairs and into the parking lot just as he drove away. Feeling frustrated, the lawyer looked at the check and decided to accept the situation philosophically. “Oh well,” she said to herself, “$500 for half an hour抯 work isn抰 bad.”

I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building… I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turned to the other and said, “See, that’s how it’s done.”
I was going to commit suicide the other day, but I must not have been serious because I brought a beach towel.
I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me… I pushed “1″ and he just stood there… I said, “Hi, where you going?” He said, “Phoenix.” So I pushed Phoenix. A few seconds later the doors opened, two tumbleweeds blew in… We were in downtown Phoenix. I looked at him and said, “You know, you’re the kind of guy I want to hang around with.” We got into his car and drove out to his shack in the desert. Then the phone rang. He said, “You get it.” I picked it up and said, “Hello?”… The other side said, “Is this Steven Wright?”… I said, “Yes…” The guy said, “Hi, I’m Mr. Jones, the student loan director from your bank. It seems you have missed your last 17 payments, and the university you attended said that they received none of the $17,000 we loaned you. We would just like to know what happened to the money?” I said, “Mr. Jones, I’ll give it to you straight. I gave all of the money to my friend Slick, and with it he built a nuclear weapon… And I would appreciate it if you never called me again.”
One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl… I sat beside her. I said, “Hi,” and she said, “Hi,” and then I said, “Nice day, isn’t it?,” And she said, “I saw my analyst today and he says I have a problem.” So I asked, “What’s the problem?” She replied, “I can’t tell you. I don’t even know you…” I said, “Well sometimes it’s good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger on a bus.” So she said, “Well, my analyst said I’m a nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys… By the way, my name is Denise.” I said, “Hello, Denise. My name is Bucky Goldstei

A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
“Ten years!”, he says.
She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, “Man, oh man! Is that good!”
Then she asked, “How long has it been since you’ve had a drink of whiskey?”
He replies, “Ten years!”
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.
He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!”
Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, “And how long has it been since you’ve had some real fun?”
And the man replies, “Wow! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there!”

he golf jokes page

A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York.
The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The programmer persists and explains that the game is real wow gold easy and is a lot of fun. He explains “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $5.”
Again, the engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep.
The programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, “OK, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $100!”
This catches the engineer’s attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he cheap wow gold plays, so he agrees to the game.
The programmer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The engineer doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his wallet, wow gold pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the programmer.
Now, it’s the engineer’s turn. He asks the programmer “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?”
The programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with buy wow gold his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers–all to no avail.
After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $100. The engineer politely takes the $100 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the engineer and asks “Well, so what’s the answer?” Without a word, the engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

Signs and notices 14
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in a Rome laundry: “Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Sign in the window of a Swedish furrier: “Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.”
Sign on the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: “Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.”
Detour sign in Kobe, Japan: “Stop: Drive Sideways.”
Sign in a Swiss mountain inn: “Special today — no ice cream.”
Sign in a Copenhagen airline ticket office: “We take your bags and send them in all directions.”
Sign on the door of a Moscow hotel room: “If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.”
Sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge: “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.”

An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney抯 office as his lawyer handed him his will. “Your estate is very complex,” said the lawyer, “but I抳e made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500.”
Just then, the phone rang and the lawyer got involved with a long call. Thinking the lawyer had said “$500,” the old man wrote out his check and left.
When she got off the phone and realized the old man抯 world of warcraft gold mistake, the lawyer ran after him down the stairs and into the parking lot just as he drove away. Feeling frustrated, the lawyer looked at the check and decided to accept the situation philosophically. “Oh well,” she said to herself, “$500 for half an hour抯 work isn抰 bad.”

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Posted in 未分類 | No Comments »

wow bee

Menu item translationsThe following are items found overseas in w…

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The author of the Warcraft Riches guide is a professional playe…

Mages in World of Warcraft is obviously one of the best and only “area of eff…

The Warlock is a devious caster, who survives on cunning rather…

A noted biologist, who had been studying little gr…

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already…

Pathetic lawsuitsThe following is supposedly a tru…

I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building….

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